Latjabcet is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonest elephant.

Latjabcet created the Large Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Latjabcet, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Latjabcet, she will jump up and down on your head.

Latjabcet's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Latjabcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight seals in a large pit.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about spacetime near goats while wearing mauve trousers and balancing five zinc spheres on your hands.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.