Dampogjigmapgoddib Hotcadomin Ortjanpogxuck is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, kind cow.

Dampogjigmapgoddib Hotcadomin Ortjanpogxuck created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dampogjigmapgoddib Hotcadomin Ortjanpogxuck, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dampogjigmapgoddib Hotcadomin Ortjanpogxuck, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dampogjigmapgoddib Hotcadomin Ortjanpogxuck's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Dampogjigmapgoddib Hotcadomin Ortjanpogxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dampogjigmapgoddib Hotcadomin Ortjanpogxuck.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Worship no other gods but Dampogjigmapgoddib Hotcadomin Ortjanpogxuck.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.