Jipraklun is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, compassionate fairy.

Jipraklun created the world eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jipraklun, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jipraklun, it will not care.

Jipraklun's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Jipraklun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always help goats.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.