Fodnutxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient eagle.

Fodnutxuck created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fodnutxuck, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fodnutxuck, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fodnutxuck's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fodnutxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fodnutxuck.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never eat cherries.

5. Fodnutxuck must be the most important thing in your life.