Faglikzenfom is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, selfish gorilla.

Faglikzenfom created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faglikzenfom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Faglikzenfom, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Faglikzenfom's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Faglikzenfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Faglikzenfom.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Do not covet oxen.