Paghaktim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy wombat.

Paghaktim created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Paghaktim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Paghaktim, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Paghaktim's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Paghaktim's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt turtles.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Paghaktim on top of all buildings.

3. Do not hurt doves.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.