Nurtyamgov is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, witless spider.

Nurtyamgov created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtyamgov, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtyamgov, it will send you a sign.

Nurtyamgov's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Nurtyamgov's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.