Tintalflam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, capable squid.

Tintalflam created everything that exists three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tintalflam, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tintalflam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Tintalflam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tintalflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always help sick monkeys.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Tintalflam in the centre of the settlement.

4. You must never eat grapes.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.