Jipbemcet Godgesslopfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, kind tapir.

Jipbemcet Godgesslopfoss created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipbemcet Godgesslopfoss, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jipbemcet Godgesslopfoss, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jipbemcet Godgesslopfoss' most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Jipbemcet Godgesslopfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not kill rats.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.