Loopjarnfem Somwodaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, calm frog.

Loopjarnfem Somwodaf created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopjarnfem Somwodaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Loopjarnfem Somwodaf, she will boil you in a big pot.

Loopjarnfem Somwodaf's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Loopjarnfem Somwodaf's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Loopjarnfem Somwodaf.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not stand on grass.