Stafcimmilgom is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, flying monkey.

Stafcimmilgom created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Stafcimmilgom, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Stafcimmilgom, it will throw large rocks at you.

Stafcimmilgom's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Stafcimmilgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never bounce in the presence of voles.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.