Titbastquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy gnu.

Titbastquaf created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Titbastquaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Titbastquaf, it will remove you from existence.

Titbastquaf's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Titbastquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Titbastquaf.

2. Never mention dolphins.

3. Always look after injured cats.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Pray towards the west.