Shavjanceb is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, wise beaver.

Shavjanceb created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavjanceb, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Shavjanceb, it will laugh at you.

Shavjanceb's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Shavjanceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

3. Put Shavjanceb first in all things.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat nuts.