Appjamgig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, astonishing donkey.

Appjamgig created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Appjamgig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Appjamgig, he will turn you into a duck.

Appjamgig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Appjamgig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. Worship no other gods but Appjamgig.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.