Kindosspig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish crocodile.

Kindosspig created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kindosspig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kindosspig, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Kindosspig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Kindosspig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Kindosspig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Do not chop down trees.