Volhimbinlakgunnell Davpinbadspag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, egotistical donkey.

Volhimbinlakgunnell Davpinbadspag created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Volhimbinlakgunnell Davpinbadspag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Volhimbinlakgunnell Davpinbadspag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Volhimbinlakgunnell Davpinbadspag's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Volhimbinlakgunnell Davpinbadspag's Holy Commandments

1. Volhimbinlakgunnell Davpinbadspag loves geese, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Never feed lemons to cats while wearing coats.

4. Always wear white.

5. Never skip near gulls.