Sawzenhen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody shark.

Sawzenhen created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sawzenhen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sawzenhen, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sawzenhen's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Sawzenhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to sheep while wearing red jumpers.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Do not stand on grass.