Rulltalstrag Nakfagkomcipquillmutmetmab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, kind aardvark.

Rulltalstrag Nakfagkomcipquillmutmetmab created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulltalstrag Nakfagkomcipquillmutmetmab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rulltalstrag Nakfagkomcipquillmutmetmab, he will turn you into a plant.

Rulltalstrag Nakfagkomcipquillmutmetmab's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Rulltalstrag Nakfagkomcipquillmutmetmab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dolphins.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.