Bamcussxemyarwaplen is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, compassionate dog.

Bamcussxemyarwaplen created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamcussxemyarwaplen, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bamcussxemyarwaplen, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bamcussxemyarwaplen's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bamcussxemyarwaplen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

5. Never go into green rooms.