Stan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ill-tempered lobster.

Stan created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stan, she will turn you into a hamster.

Stan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Stan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always help bats in need.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

5. Do not speak about beans.