Biflibnan Tigkonfed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless mole.

Biflibnan Tigkonfed created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Biflibnan Tigkonfed, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Biflibnan Tigkonfed, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Biflibnan Tigkonfed's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Biflibnan Tigkonfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Biflibnan Tigkonfed on top of all buildings.

5. Never feed aubergines to sheep while wearing scarves.