Rotpaktanpoptenarnhakmid is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, selfish walrus.

Rotpaktanpoptenarnhakmid created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Rotpaktanpoptenarnhakmid, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rotpaktanpoptenarnhakmid, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Rotpaktanpoptenarnhakmid's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Rotpaktanpoptenarnhakmid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not keep six sheep in a large pit.

3. Rotpaktanpoptenarnhakmid loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Never jump in the presence of bats.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.