Vognurlcab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, bad-tempered rat.

Vognurlcab created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vognurlcab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vognurlcab, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vognurlcab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vognurlcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never wear red skirts.

3. Never hurt geese.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Worship no other gods but Vognurlcab.