Stanhatpog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong goose.

Stanhatpog created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Stanhatpog, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stanhatpog, she will turn you into a dog.

Stanhatpog's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Stanhatpog's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Stanhatpog.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Stanhatpog.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.