Dossbatlab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unthoughtful dove.

Dossbatlab created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Dossbatlab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dossbatlab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dossbatlab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Dossbatlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Never feed parsnips to whales while wearing turquoise stockings.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to porpoises while wearing magenta dresses.