Yarlgutdimjarnflowmadtonknurt is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, tranquil alligator.

Yarlgutdimjarnflowmadtonknurt created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlgutdimjarnflowmadtonknurt, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yarlgutdimjarnflowmadtonknurt, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yarlgutdimjarnflowmadtonknurt's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yarlgutdimjarnflowmadtonknurt's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never feed lentils to grasshopers while wearing scarves.

3. Never write about quantum gravity.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Pray towards the east.