Fetkenrot is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, passionate jaguar.

Fetkenrot created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetkenrot, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fetkenrot, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fetkenrot's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Fetkenrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Fetkenrot in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help sick porpoises.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near doves while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing five copper spheres on your feet.

5. Never write about special relativity.