Kipjarnveg is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous ant.

Kipjarnveg created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipjarnveg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kipjarnveg, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Kipjarnveg's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Kipjarnveg's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never skip near gulls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.