Padsitvin is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful chinchilla.

Padsitvin created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Padsitvin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Padsitvin, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Padsitvin's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Padsitvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Padsitvin.

4. Do not eat corn.

5. Never look at asteroids.