Cumfitdot is a god.

He takes the form of a small, idiotic seal.

Cumfitdot created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumfitdot, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cumfitdot, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cumfitdot's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cumfitdot's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to capybaras while wearing indigo coats.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Put Cumfitdot first in all things.

4. Never write about fluid mechanics.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Cumfitdot on top of all buildings.