Gumlogjap is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, impressive spider.

Gumlogjap created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Gumlogjap, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gumlogjap, it will turn you into a slug.

Gumlogjap's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gumlogjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.