Bagbigloopveg is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable gnu.

Bagbigloopveg created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagbigloopveg, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bagbigloopveg, she will laugh at you.

Bagbigloopveg's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bagbigloopveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near mites while wearing turquoise shorts and balancing four iron spheres on your back.

2. Bagbigloopveg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never paint your chest pink.

4. Never hurt monkeys.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bagbigloopveg.