Wodsagdoss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless manatee.

Wodsagdoss created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodsagdoss, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wodsagdoss, she will destroy your home solar system.

Wodsagdoss' most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wodsagdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Put Wodsagdoss first in all things.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Do not hurt pigs.