Dossnurlbap is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, flying swallow.

Dossnurlbap created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dossnurlbap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dossnurlbap, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dossnurlbap's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Dossnurlbap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray mites for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dossnurlbap.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

5. Do not eat wheat.