Quamgen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, tranquil seal.

Quamgen created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quamgen, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamgen, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quamgen's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quamgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Quamgen must be the most important thing in your life.