Tofzedtar is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, wise squirrel.

Tofzedtar created everything that exists two years ago.

If you believe in Tofzedtar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tofzedtar, he will turn you into a plant.

Tofzedtar's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tofzedtar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Always help sick squirrels.