Batnul is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, fussy faun.

Batnul created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batnul, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Batnul, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Batnul's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Batnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.