Pignibwan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, deceitful turtle.

Pignibwan created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Pignibwan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pignibwan, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pignibwan's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Pignibwan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight lead sculptures of Pignibwan on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Pignibwan must be the most important thing in your life.