Disstafbig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous centaur.

Disstafbig created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disstafbig, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Disstafbig, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Disstafbig's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Disstafbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat turnips.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Never talk about spacetime near eagles while wearing white shorts and balancing eight platinum spheres on your hands.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never feed cucumbers to pigs while wearing cyan tights.