Nutsatlarp Zancumbap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate hare.

Nutsatlarp Zancumbap created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutsatlarp Zancumbap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nutsatlarp Zancumbap, she will destroy your home planet.

Nutsatlarp Zancumbap's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nutsatlarp Zancumbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

2. You must love Nutsatlarp Zancumbap.

3. Never talk about dark energy near mice while wearing brown stockings.

4. Worship no other gods but Nutsatlarp Zancumbap.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Nutsatlarp Zancumbap in the centre of the settlement.