Japyartnattag is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, self-assured troll.

Japyartnattag created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Japyartnattag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Japyartnattag, he will not care.

Japyartnattag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Japyartnattag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Never talk about dark energy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never wear dresses.