Kemyarlcab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, contented chinchilla.

Kemyarlcab created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemyarlcab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kemyarlcab, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Kemyarlcab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Kemyarlcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four birds in a large pit.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Run away if six whales approach from the east.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not speak about bread.