Xinquamweg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, weak newt.

Xinquamweg created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Xinquamweg, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xinquamweg, he will refuse to believe in you.

Xinquamweg's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Xinquamweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tortoises while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing eight iron spheres on your neck.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Put Xinquamweg first in all things.