Davjarnmob is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, happy manatee.

Davjarnmob created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davjarnmob, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Davjarnmob, it will strike you with lightening.

Davjarnmob's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Davjarnmob's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Never mention monkeys.