Pogarpfas Kandavban is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, amazing rat.

Pogarpfas Kandavban created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogarpfas Kandavban, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pogarpfas Kandavban, he will turn you into a tree.

Pogarpfas Kandavban's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Pogarpfas Kandavban's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of melons to bats while wearing black trousers.

2. Hide if five grasshopers approach from the east.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. You must love Pogarpfas Kandavban.