Appfobyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a small, sage clam.

Appfobyarl created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Appfobyarl, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Appfobyarl, it will think nothing of it.

Appfobyarl's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Appfobyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Appfobyarl.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.