Tifbetzenhingab is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful hippopotamus.

Tifbetzenhingab created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifbetzenhingab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifbetzenhingab, he will turn you into a mole.

Tifbetzenhingab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tifbetzenhingab's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.