Jabfutpon Natfarvab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, awesome coyote.

Jabfutpon Natfarvab created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabfutpon Natfarvab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jabfutpon Natfarvab, it will turn you into a rock.

Jabfutpon Natfarvab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Jabfutpon Natfarvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn shirts.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Jabfutpon Natfarvab on top of all buildings.

3. Do not kill snails.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not hurt ants.