Jaddan Legwabbafkin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, wise human.

Jaddan Legwabbafkin created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jaddan Legwabbafkin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jaddan Legwabbafkin, it will turn you into a rat.

Jaddan Legwabbafkin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Jaddan Legwabbafkin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Always wear red.

3. Never feed garlic to squirrels while wearing yellow ear rings.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about enzymes.