Jatkingattamlaknartxenjig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, fast squirrel.

Jatkingattamlaknartxenjig created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatkingattamlaknartxenjig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jatkingattamlaknartxenjig, she will turn you into a rat.

Jatkingattamlaknartxenjig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Jatkingattamlaknartxenjig's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never sprint in the presence of tortoises.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near hamsters while wearing magenta dresses and balancing four lead spheres on your chest.